By Melanie Raskin
Twenty-something Olivia was feeling flat, off and drinking to feel better—drinking a lot. Lethargic, with memory loss, confusion and no desire to eat, her feelings of hopelessness spiraled into thoughts of self-destruction. She had been depressed for months before anyone realized it. Luckily, her family members figured it out in time. But then came the hard part: What should they do about it?
According to NAMI, National Association of Mental Illness, one in five adults in the United States experience mental illness; for one in 25, it’s serious. Mental illness costs the nation billions of dollars annually in lost wages, health care expenses and disability. But the human cost to the person with mental illness—and their families and friends — can be devastating.
Bill Lindsey, executive director of NAMI South Carolina, said an important first step in getting loved ones the help they need is to remove the stigma — and that starts with attention and education.
“This is an equal-opportunity illness; it happens to everyone,” he said. “It can be difficult to find the right clinician, therapist and medicines, but there is hope. When you hit that right combination of treatments, 85% of people with mental illness have good outcomes and live productive lives. Research and development for diseases of the brain trail a good bit behind work in heart disease and cancer. For some reason, we treat the most important organ in the body differently. We tell people with mood disorders to pick themselves up by the bootstraps, to get well on their own.
We never hear those words when someone goes to the ER with a heart attack. Sometimes, the brain needs help. That stigma’s got to go.”
He’s right. Dealing with the mental illness of a loved one is hard enough without the judgment of society. And it’s absolutely mind-boggling the first time you come face-to-face with it. Symptoms can range from dramatic personality changes, erratic behavior and hearing voices to substance abuse, difficulty with daily activities and an inability to get out of bed. It’s hard to see someone you care about hurting.
It’s even harder to realize you don’t have the first clue what to do about it. How can you help? Who can you call? The following tips on how to navigate the mental health system can empower you to provide the support your loved one needs—immediately and for the long term.
Actions you take to support your family or friend with a mental illness:
One / Contact your doctor. Your family doctor may be able to recommend resources that can help. Mental health has an impact on overall health: A physical checkup is a vital part of the assessment. Remember, although health care providers can prescribe medication, they can’t treat the root cause of the mental illness. For the best results, ask your health care provider to partner with a mental health specialist to design a treatment plan.
Two / Call your health insurance company. Ask for three referrals of mental health professionals in your area who accept your plan. Set up an appointment as soon as you can.
Three / Ask your friends. Most people have only a degree or two of separation from someone with mental illness. Talk to trusted loved ones to get recommendations for professional help.
Four / Call a mental health professional. Find a trustworthy, knowledgeable person trained in mental health care in your county’s clinic, the neighborhood hospital, private practice, an inpatient facility, or the loved one’s school or college. Set up an appointment as soon as possible, and ask to be placed on the cancellation wait list so you can get in more quickly.
Five / Consult your clergy. Clergy are often widely networked and may be able to suggest additional support. Some are trained to provide counseling that can be of help.
Six / Explore your state’s mental health department. The North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services Mental Health Services and the South Carolina Department of Mental Health (contact information below) offer excellent resources for citizens.
Seven / Learn. This should probably be No. 1 on the list. Don’t wait for a crisis; research the symptoms and behaviors you are seeing so you have a clear handle on what is going on, how to tackle it and whose support you’ll need. Organizations such as NAMI have a wealth of resources, from support groups and mental health walk-in units to housing and community inclusion.
What to do if the person you care about is suicidal:
Eight / Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Suicide has moved to the second-leading cause of death for children age 10 to 18. Treat it seriously. Trained hotline counselors are available 24/7 to support your loved one in a crisis situation.
Nine / Call 911. If the person you care about has a plan to hurt herself or others, call for intervention. Ask for a CIT (crisis intervention team) officer, if one is available. Calmly explain what the crisis is, so the police and EMTs have all the information they need to respond appropriately. They can transport your loved one to the hospital for evaluation or check on a person you suddenly can’t reach.
Ten / As a last resort, you can take your loved one to the Emergency Department, particularly if they are incoherent, obviously distressed or seem to be a danger to themselves or others. Hospital EDs can be a direct link to both inpatient (long-term) and outpatient (short-term) treatment. Although ED physicians are not specialists in mental health care, they can help in an emergency situation, especially if someone you care about may be on the brink of hurting himself or others. Keep in mind, though, that ED visits are costly and often frightening to someone with an acute mental illness, so this isn’t a first choice.
Remember, take a breath and take care of yourself, too. Of course, it’s easier to take that breath if you know your loved one is getting the right support.
Virginia Rodillas, MS, CFLE, manager of NAMI North Carolina’s Helpline, noted that diagnosing a mental illness isn’t straightforward.
“It’s not a blood test and can be unique and overlap with other diagnoses; early intervention and treatment are vital, and can deliver the best outcomes,” she explained. “While what’s happening can be confusing, act. The sooner you get your loved one with mental illness on the path to recovery, the faster and better that recovery may be.”
The key takeaway? Everyone is unique: there is no cookie-cutter treatment. Therapy can include any combination of counseling, medication, social support and education. The most important thing you can do is learn as much as you can about mental health and take steps when needed.
Helpful Links
NAMI NC: www.naminc.org Helpline: 1-800-451-9682
NAMI National: www.nami.org Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI
CareNet Counseling: www.CareNetNC.org
